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Worstplayer Sep 29, 2011, 9:51 am
| Two old pool champions that had lived a sorted life of hustling die and wake up in hell. The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and bomber hats warming themselves around a fire. The devil asks them "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?
"Oh no we lived on the road for years, sometimes we had to stay in really cold places because that was where the action was."
The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning he stops by again and there they are, still dressed in parkas, hats and mittens. The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you two feel that?"
Again the two hustlers replied "we made some of our best scores in the land of ice and snow this temperature is just fine with us."
This gets the devil a bit steamed and he decides to show these two just who is in charge down here. He cranks up the heat as high as it can go. The rest of the people are screaming and miserable. He stops by to see if his two hustlers are the same, and is astonished to find them in light jackets and baseball caps, grilling burgers and drinking beer. The devil says "Everyone down here is in absolute misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves! Why?"
The hustlers reply "We spent many a night freezing our ass off sleeping in our car on the road this heat is just great!!"
This absolutely incenses the devil, he can barely see straight. He finally comes up with a plan to set these two straight. These two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives, so he decides to turn off all the heat. The next morning, the temperature in hell is below zero, icicles are hanging off the ceilings, people are shivering so much that they don't even have the strength to complain. The devil smiles and heads over to check on his hustlers. He arrives and finds the two back in their parkas, hats, and mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering, and giving each other hi-fives. The devil is now quite dumbfounded, "I just don't understand, I turn up the heat and you're happy. Now I turn off the heat, it's freezing and you're still happy. Why?"
The hustlers stop their celebration and look at the devil with a surprised look and say "well, don't ya know, hell froze over... that must mean wheezaldog broke and ran out!" | Worstplayer Oct 6, 2011, 5:35 am
| How many pool players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five. One to change the bulb and four to stand around going "pffft, I can do that"
| Worstplayer Oct 6, 2011, 5:41 am
| I attended a party this past weekend. After checking out all the well-dressed guests at the party, I spotted an attractive woman (standing
alone) across the room. When I approached and asked her name,
She coyly replied... "Carmen."
Trying to maintain some sort of conversation with her, I responded with "That's a beautiful name, Is it a family name?"
"No," she replied. "I gave it to myself, because it reflects the things I like most in the world - cars and men."
"What's your name?" she asked.
"Pooltits," I replied
| Worstplayer Oct 6, 2011, 5:42 am
| How do you make a Pool table laugh?
Put your hands in its pockets and tickle its balls
| Worstplayer Oct 6, 2011, 5:46 am
| John and Joe are playing pool. John likes to have fun and Joe is very very serious and NOTHING will disturb him or shark him on his shot. Joe as is usual is very serious and running out the last game to win the set. He is shooting the 8 with a tough 9 remaining for the win. He shoots the 8 in and gets tough on the 9, he gets down on the shot and right before he pulls the trigger, he sees a hearse go past the window of the pool room with
several funeral cars following. He gets up off the shot and puts his hand on his heart and bows his head and then after about 5 seconds, gets back down on the 9 and drills it in the back of the pocket for the win.
John then turns to Joe and says "I am amazed that you did that and got up off your shot, it shows amazing respect and I have to say Joe, I have never seen you get up off a shot before." Joe then responds, "It's the least I could do John, I was married to the woman for 37 years" | daroosta Nov 3, 2011, 1:40 pm
| The party joke is good. Split my side. |
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